An Open Letter to Peyton Manning

Being a graduate of the Harvard of the South (aka 'The University of Kentucky"), there has long been a rivalry between the Wildcats and pretty much the rest of the Universe due to our dominance of all things Academic and Athletic. Or at least we've had some pretty good basketball teams.  

However as much as I dislike our traditional rivals (U of L, Duke), I also have an intense dislike of Tennessee. Their theme song is 'Rocky Top', for christ's sake, and their basketball coach is an ass. But apparently I have nothing on the people from the Yale of the South - the University of Alabama. I mean...they snitches! And I don't like pumpkins.