Magic Dining Room Set for Sale

From Craigslist

I have to sell this beautiful antique Dining Room set. It comes with 4 chairs, table, china cabinet & breakfast bar. It’s about 30 years old. Real wood… not that fake stuff they sell today. I hate to sell this set, but my wife says it has to go… here is the problem. It all started when we moved into our new house. I suppose the combination of the dining room set, and the spirit of the house have joined forces… Whenever I sit at the table, and make a wish, it comes true… this has caused a lot of problems in my marriage. You see, one morning, when I was having breakfast, I looked out the window in the dining room, and saw my neighbor. She’s hot! So I said, I wish I could tap that!... well, next thing you know, my beautiful neighbor is naked in my kitchen, and we are going at it like mad.

OK, so you are thinking… hmmm… that’s just one wish… no real magic trend… well consider what happened a few days later… I was having a late night snack, and my eyes fell to the tv across the room… I had it on HBO, and “taxi cab confessions” came on.. man was it hot… 3 women get in a cab ( I think it was in Vegas) and they start making out…. It was hot. The cab driver kept looking back in the mirror… he was getting quite a show… so I say… “I wish I were a cab driver”… the next morning, I go out to my car to go to work and it wont start. I call my boss to tell him im going to be late… and he says, “don’t bother… you’re fired”.

Now I need a job… My wife comes downstairs, and I tell her what happened… and she starts screaming at me… So, where is the magic? I tell her I wish she’d leave me alone… Next thing I know, she’s packed up, and a man is knocking on the door. It’s her boyfriend… apparently she’s been cheating on me…… well, we start talking, and he owns a cab company… he offers me a job, because he feels bad for me loosing my wife and job on the same day.

Look, please just buy this table…. $600 or best offer.